For a long time I've liked to make fun of Lloyd Banks, for looking like Craig David, for sounding like a hoarse 50 and riding on his coattails, for having 3 volumes of Best Of Lloyd Banks mixtapes before really proving himself as an MC. And just recently I found out that his government name is Christopher Lloyd, which I think is hilarious. But lately I've been kinda feeling the kid, and "On Fire" cemented that. A few weeks ago I made a mixtape and without even meaning to I ended up putting 3 tracks with Lloyd on it, and it would've been 4 if I'd fit "On Fire" on there.

Lloyd Banks f/ Eminem, 50 Cent and Nate Dogg - "Warrior" Part 2

New beat (and if it's Em again, then damn) and everyone rocks the same start-stop flow over it but it works really well. Em's verse is first and probably the best, you can try and sell him short, but you can't fuck with his last joint or the one before it, etc. The little string swoops on the hook just kill me, and Nate starts sounding really angry at the end.

cormega - legal hustle -- +from listening to it yesterday afternoon for the first time, lying on my bed with my blanket and both pillows pushed up into the corner to lean and lay against, staring up at the stucco or+ +i figured out something to say about how soft it sounded to me and how it made my ears feel like they were in warm sleeping bags or whatever i wanted to compare it to+ +listening to it now i'm not sure what i meant and i don't want to be dishonest. it does have that softness but lots of other things too that fit in other categories that i don't have time to sort out+ +he's got a soft mouth that fills with saliva and isn't underpowered. i can't focus on anything he's saying unless he's shouting+ +you know what the beats are like+ +l rocked the bells, dmc rocked gazelles with shells / skills mattered, fuck your rims and your record sales / hip-hop is stetsasonic and madtronic, ultramagnetic, schooly d and bambaataa+ +the inside picture of mega rocking the fila tracksuit, crouched down into the circular frame, dogtag piece and chain, diamonds on both wrists+ +i spit the drugdealer shit you might have seen on the wire / what other lyricist is known for giving people consignment?+

Cam'ron - "Long Time Comin'"

This was on the Diplomats Volume 5 mixtape along with a bunch of Cam's then-new solo shit. Of course, a bunch of those street joints have since been cleaned up or re-recorded for Purple Haze, and this one was retitled "Lord You Know" with the vocal sample chorus replaced with Jaheim on the hook for the first single/video, which doesn't seem to be doing well, at least not yet. But I like this version better anyway. The drum/synth sound is really reverby and weird and Cam kicks one of his less silly verses.

Beyonce f/ Lil Flip - "Naughty Girl" remix

Baltimore radio has just lately caught Lil Flip fever, so instead of playing the original version, they only ever play the Flip remix, and sometimes the awful Lil Kim one (they love 'exclusive' shit on 92Q, they only play the L-Boogie version of "All Falls Down" too). The first couple times it was a little jarring to hear him say "Houston's finest, Beyonce and Lil Flip", only because it's so rare that you're actually reminded that B is from Texas. I mean, aside from the occasional twang that pops up in her speaking voice, when she feels like playing up the country girl thing the same way Justin plays up being from Memphis, you'd never really know it. Some tabloid should an investigative report on SECRETLY SOUTHERN celebrities.

Jin - "I Got A Love"

Kanye chops up the same Lenny Williams sample from "Overnight Celebrity" into a completely different kind of beat but almost as great. The hook really gets me swaying and singing along and it almost sounds way more happy than what it's actually about, breaking it off with a girl cause I guess I was just way too hood for you to be with. Jin isn't as annoying as he was on "Learn Chinese" but not by much, but there's a nice back-and-forth moment on the first verse, Mr. West, what do you think is the best? "take 'em backstage, get acquainted, that's what I suggest".

Paul Wall - Bag Lady Freestyle.mp3

there's this exhausted, discouraged feeling through it, right from paul's nineteen years old with a mouthful of gold intro to cham's my girlfriend want a baby but i just can't let it be closer. it might just another williken/koopa freestyle but there's something really special about it to me.

juvenile and his utp playas ft. ms tee, zuse, and kango slim - what's up remix -- 4. the intro with the cartoon sea shanty sort of thing before the beat comes clattering in. 3. the sleepy gangsta kango slim half a verse that slows everything down until one of the utp guys interrupts and grabs it. 2. successful menacing juve verse with the "i guess i'm the bad guy in this movie, DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN here comes juvie." 1. ms tee's verse, coming with the ha! thing, "the queen diva got that work ha!" etc. and breaking down into singing against the melody thing, "put your money on the dress, we gon work now."

z-ro - happy feelingz -- it's just one of the ultra generic beats that he loves and that suit him perfectly. it's some livejournal confessional shit, shouting out the angels in the psychiatric center that helped him to feel like a winner, realizing that he's squandered his youth and lost his way and he's like a sponge soaking up pain and everyone in his life is so fake, but it's okay and he sings the hook softly and hopefully and calls out to the lord, "get your ass up out my way satan, i got a matching robe and a crown waiting."

"fellow Americans, in our first gathering, we presented the words of one of our most prolific and celebrated citizens, though he has since retired from his post, his legacy lives on..."

Six months later, new Jay-Z verses are still leaking out one by one, and I kind of wish he'd just got it over with and gone out with a real big bang with the album, instead of trickling out half-assed guest appearances on Lenny Kravitz records and shit like that for months and months afterwards. But he just dropped maybe the last batch, and finally got together some of his own Black Album remixes, and thankfully they're mostly over new Just Blaze beats instead of stupid Beatles/Weezer/Pavement 'mashups'. The best of them is "Public Service Announcement" Part 2, which has another organ heavy beat and Jay does some of the rhymes from that freestyle over the "Stand Up" that he did in the booth last time he was on Rap City. And there's the "Allure" remix with a lush "Song Cry" type soul beat. But then Just drops the ball with a "99 Problems" remix over one of his crappy faux-old school beats. And a couple of the 'new' tracks that have leaked, which are outtakes from the Black Album that JB talked about in a couple interviews, have his same regrettable wannabe Run DMC style. "Lookin' At My S. Dots" sounds like every drum came from a different kit and it doesn't fit together at all. "Warm It Up" is a little better, though, starts off flipping some rhymes from "La La La" and then it starts to get good but the version I have fades out early which sucks.

The whole hype/controversy over the "99 Problems" video is silly, but "shocking" money shots aside, it's a pretty enjoyable video and fits the song as well as I could've hoped it to. Jay actually projects some swagger like he hasn't in a video in way too long, especially in my favorite part, the 2nd verse with the exchange with the cop. His weird drawling accent when he does the cop's voice is funny, especially since didn't he say in interviews that that verse is based on something that really happened when he was driving through Virginia? If Jay thinks VA is part of the south, dude has been hanging around with Timbaland way too long.

real stats:

# of times that Cassidy says "ma" in the song "Get No Better": 49

# of those times that take place in the first minute of the song: 28

rate of "ma"'s during that first minute of the song: roughly once every 2 seconds

"new 50!"

newish 50 freestyle doing the mixtape track two minute short story thing he's still really good at. (do the right click and save thing. it'll download slow and probably go down pretty quick).

TOP 10 NOT COUNTING S.U.C. OR SWISHAHOUSE MEMBERS EXCEPT LIL FLIP RAPPERS TO HEAR SLOWED

10. BIZZY BONE
9. TRICK
8. FREEWAY
7. PAC
6. LUDACRIS
5. JADAKISS
4. JUVIE
3. MYSTIKAL
2. BUN B
1. LIL FLIP

juvenile - juve the great screwed and chopped -- juve has the best voice of any of the hot boys, the strong slurry rumble/croak. i never fell in love with him, though. he almost never catches and sticks in my head. if i got to pick a hot boy to lace one of my tracks with a verse it would be bg or wayne (and turk on the hook).!! but he's the perfect rapper slowed, the voice still there and fuck that's gangsta punchlines and plain beautiful shit all layed out properly (and michael watts to chop it back for you). and those fresh, crisp nu-cmr nu-mannie fresh beats soaked with slowness, right at the perfect speed where things start to sound gritty and draggy, slower than watts has gone in a while (the slow motion on the album is noticeably slower than the version he did on before da kappa 2k4) and letting the songs play out to six and seven minutes sometimes.!! but get the original version if you don't have it.

"big ass shower cap, Ethan thinks I'm cute"

When I read that D12 is going on tour without Eminem, I thought it was a pretty terrible idea (although I guess it's better money than staying home), but when I saw that one of the opening acts is Bone Crusher, I realized that between him and Bizarre it's actually The Fat Wack(y) Rappers Ethan Loves Tour '04! And the ungrateful bastard will be out of the country for it!

Oh yeah, you might see Gel & Weave clique over there taking their little shots at me for getting to the Juve/Soulja Slim song first. This is blog beef, bitch! Don't make me pop your Georgia dome!

(BTW, does the title of Young Buck's album remind anyone else of CB4's "Straight Outta Locash" more than NWA?)

8ball and mjg - living legends -- it's really good but i'm not sure what to say about it yet! it's like in three parts, kind of. part 1 is all the smooth modern beats with shiny horns and bells and vague griminess and cars and a song with ludacris and part 2 starts with a madd rapper skit ("8ball and mjg?? nigga, you can't be serious, man. them niggas is frontin right now. i remember when they had jheri curls, nigga, on they first album. they frontin!" "nah, they from the south, they real memphis and all that." "yeah but they from orange mound, son. that's like-- you know what i mean?? that sound like an ice cream cone or something. orange mound, nigga!" and it's all songs with diddy and 112 about girls and part 3 is memphis, spooky voice interludes, guitars, and grim songs with fast rappers about dying young. (part 1 is the best).

cutt throat meets chopper city -- so it's half bg songs and half soulja slim and bg affiliated no names. bg is totally scary and authentic and talks more often than he raps and tries to squash the beef with wayne and starts beef with the sqad: "i'ma keep it real with you, if you keep it real back. lil wayne, i done fucked with you, you my lil dawg, you been my lil dawg. what those sqad niggas done, i don't respect that. so, if you give me the say so, you know i'm an uptown big dog, when they come to duplex, ya heard me, i'll get them niggas jacked for ya. i know one thing: we better not catch ya uptown... i'm a motherfucking ex-dope fiend. these niggas be talkin that shit. i get a nigga killed for three bundles of dope and an eightball of coke, ya heard me? so don't fuck with this here." the other half is okay, too. they use what's beef for a no limit diss and over six minutes on ja's clap back beat and they get on new kanye west and old outkast beats and there's a really beautiful chanting and hand drums track dedicated to slim with ziggly wiggly doing bird noises and it's like some weird hippie drum jam sing-along thing but with everyone rapping odes to slim's gangsta.

wyclef is a clown

Subj: wut it do cuz?
Date: 4/24/2004 11:57:26 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: a-trae
To: LIQU0RP0RN

alot of katz be hatin on tha south,n u aint gotta be hatin on h-town cuz fa reel,y u gotta be hatin on houston cuz?dirty south?we a whole lot different down herre cuz.itz "the ditry". paul wall n chamillionaire go fed cuz i dont even know wut ur talkin bout cuz.u need 2 get yo mind correct cuz!naw wut u need 2 do is listen 2 some of their underground mixtapes they go FED!!!!they're under rated!when they blow up dont be hatin cuz, they will blow up cuz!fa reel!they gone change the game!!!

Alicia Keys - "If I Ain't Got You" (Kanye West remix)

The original version had way more replay value than I expected it to, one of the rare R&B hits that I like even more after the billionth time I hear it on the radio. This version's not as good but it's nice, Kanye chops the "some people want it all" part into one of his pitched up chipmunk samples over a slightly faster beat and Alicia does some new lyrics.

Juvenile and Soulja Slim - "Slow Motion"

I feel pretty out of the loop because I hadn't even heard of this song until I was looking at the rap charts on Billboard and this was in the top 10, and then saw the video on MTV the next day, so I guess it's been big in the south for a while already. But didn't the "Bounce Back" video just come out? I guess they decided to rush this one out, and it's much better than that anyway, or "In My Life", which I kinda hated. It seems like for all the slick rap songs on the radio, there aren't any that are this pleasantly laid back. The video is also kind of mellow, lots of slow shots of everyone in NOLA paying their respects to Slim. I hope it's huge all summer.

Sheek Louch, Jae Hood and Styles P. - "Respect" freestyle

D-Block paying homage to Poppa over my favorite beat from Ready To Die. Sheek once again manages to do nothing with his cool Ghostface-type quivering voice, and clumsily shoehorns a stupid "I'm Rick James, bitch" reference in there, Jae Hood does the most lifeless, monotone faux-ragamuffin "lord have mercy, follow me follow me follow meeee" bullshit, and Paniro delivers the best verse pretty much by default.

Jadakiss - "The Champ Is Here"

Green Lantern putting the 3rd verse from "Time's Up" over a new beat with a sample of Will-Smith-as-Muhammad-Ali banging a bongo and saying "the champ is here" in that movie. Apparently Jada liked it so much that he's putting it on the album with new verses, I haven't heard the new version yet. I hope when it comes out officially it's labelled "featuring Will Smith". Or better yet, "featuring the Fresh Prince". Anyway, it beats the hell out of the original Dre/Storch beat for "Time's Up", which sounded way too much like "Poppin' Them Thangs".

The Roots - "Don't Say Nuthin'"

Hypothetically, I'm all for the Roots conforming to standard hip hop production a little more, but getting a wack beat from their boy Scott Storch and mumbling a shitty hook over it is not a good look.

And y'know, I really don't want to come down on Storch, I swear. Because honestly, I got love for any geeky white dude who can get in the game and do beats with famous rappers, that's like my dream right there. But I'm getting tired of all the hype he gets playing keyboards (and allegedly ghostproducing) for Dre and Timbo, especially when his own beats are either bland as hell (Ja's "Clap Back") or jack Tim's style (Bleek/Jay-Z's "Murda Murda") or Dre's style (Knoc'turnal's "The Way I Am", which also jacks one of Just Blaze's signatures). Plus, some of Chronic 2001 aside, I don't really like Dre's beats from the last few years that people are so quick to give SS credit for anyway. You can tell me all day why "Family Affair" or "In Da Club" are good beats, but they just sound slick and bland to me.

But, Scott Storch's production company is called Tuff Jew Productions, which is fucking badass.

OK, so obviously dude was a cameo king way before the #1 album, but it's good to see that he's still on his grind and tearing up the guest spots. I could list ALL the guest verses he's done lately, but I'll just stick to the remixes:

Twista and DJ Smurf - "Slow Jamz" (Collipark remix)

"See in Atlanta, we like to take a good slow jam, and put you on the dancefloor with it". So there are a lot of boring "Slow Jamz" remixes (like that overrated Chamillionaire one), but this one is on the CD single and it's awesome. Double time drums and a cheesy horn riff over the Luther sample and Twista kicks a quick new verse with more R&B namedropping, Same Cooke, Gladys Knight, Chaka Khan, James Brown, R. Kelly, Prince, etc. Then they run his verse from the original, then DJ Smurf comes on, "now hold on hold on hold on Twista, we gotta represent for Luther one time up in here, know what I'm sayin', you can't just have Luther on here and not let him represent, so all my grown folks in the house, you gotta sang with this!"

Trillville f/ Twista - "Neva Eva" (remix)

This was mindblowing the first time I heard it. One of Lil Jon's better 'hard' beats to begin with, but hearing Twista hitting syllables in time with those ridiculous 16th note (32nd note!?) snare fills just puts it way over the top.

Petey Pablo f/ Jermaine Dupri and Twista - "Freek-A-Leek"

Another Lil Jon beat, but not nearly as much fun this time around. Actually, the same could be said for the original "Freek-A-Leek". How wrong is it that JD has the tightest verse on this?

Sting f/ Twista - "Stolen Car (Take Me Dancing)" (B. Recluse remix)

I know, OMG WTF, right? Twista is the '04 Cheb Mami*, except Sting's latest comeback attempt is a song about a car instead of a car ad. He's actually barely on it, just the chorus and even then his voice is kind of obscured by female background vox. So it basically just sounds like a Twista song with a slick hook and it comes together really well. When I was dogsitting at my dad's house a couple weeks ago, I was going through his CD's and found the Sting album with the original version of this, and it's really slow and boring.

Elephant Man f/ Twista, Youngbloodz and Kiprich - "Jook Gal" (Head Gawn remix)

This is Ele's entry into the hit sweepstakes for the Coolie Dance riddim, which is this year's Diwali, and I like it better than all the other Coolie songs basically because it has good rappers on it.

T.I. f/ Mack 10, Trick Daddy and Twista - "Rubber Band Man" (remix)

T.I.'s new verse is alright, but it's pretty underwhelming until Twista comes on and keeps going right into the last chorus, "I'm the SLOW JAM MAN, runnin' with the RUBBER BAND MAN".

* props to that blogging fuck Jess Harvell for that one.

www.whomikejones.com to add mike jones to your aim buddy list and hear him on the paid in full beat!

still tippin

filthy new swishahouse video! weirdlooking slim thug catching boppas like paul wall! sloppy mike jones verse sounding great over terse violin sound beat! paul wall showing off his new grill and renewing his allegiance to the house! cars! michael watts! girls! choppa and 5th ward weebie for the n.o./houston/strip club collaboration tag-on video!

COMP: THE BOY FROM BALTIMORE
(part 1 in a continuing series in which I rep my fucking city)

Comp is an 18-year-old MC who was signed to Def Jam last year. There was a profile of him in this week's issue of the Baltimore City Paper, so you can read that here and I won't bother regurgitating a bunch of details from that article, except that Comp's father, Pockets, is not a rapper but has a cooler nickname than Comp. You can get a few Comp mp3's here. I haven't really heard enough of him to really be sold on him as an MC, but he's not bad and definitely has more potential than anyone from Baltimore to blow up right now. His album's supposed to drop this summer, but knowing how the industry is these days, I wouldn't be surprised if Def Jam kept pushing it back another year to build buzz and get him on more guest spots, which would probably be for the best anyway, as far as giving him a real shot at putting Baltimore on the map.

The first Comp song I heard was "Do Sumptin'" from the Cradle 2 The Grave soundtrack, which was ok but not particularly promising. Then there was "So Much Fire" featuring Cam'ron, which was good, but pretty much a generic Diplomats track where Comp got outshined by Cam. Around that time Ghostface's "Run" featuring Jadakiss and Comp also started making the rounds. Of course, on all the mixtapes and radio stations outside Baltimore, people would always cut off the song after Jada's verse, so noone knew Comp was on it. But he was on the official 12" and he was in the video. Unfortunately, the version on The Pretty Toney Album doesn't have him on it. But his verse brings some over the top energy that suits the song well. He's also had some good grimey freestyles on the Harm City mixtape (hosted by Ghostface), and on the NBA Live mixtape, where he spits over the wonderful Transformers-sampling instrumental from Three 6 Mafia's "Who Gives A Fuck Where U From".

But what's really sold me on Comp is his current solo single, "Harder", which is big on local radio. It's got one of those soulful beats with a vocal sample of the phrase "makin' it harder" that he rhymes with, and it's a lot more subdued and introspective than most of the other stuff I've heard from him so far. The City Paper article seems to be positioning him as the more-than-guns-and-sex-rhymes type rapper, and this is the the only song so far that really bears that out in any definitive way. I hope he keeps his grimey style as well as doing more tracks like this. I don't know if either approach will take him to the big time, but I'm rooting for him along with everyone else in Bmore.

Labels: Baltimore City Paper, Comp

Every Wednesday morning, I go to Billboard.com to check up on the new charts, and for the past couple months, I've been greeted by this picture of Usher laughing maniacally, as if reacting directly to the news that he's #1 again this week. He just looks so diabolical. Usher would make a good Bond villain, actually.

Usher - "Throwback"

This is one of the only uptempo songs on Confessions besides "Yeah", but it's got the melodramatic remorse of the ballads, and it's really good. Ursher deserves some credit for being the only R&B singer going to Just Blaze instead of Kanye right now, and Just deserves some credit for doing an R&B production that's for once as muscular and majestic as his rap beats. Of course, he accomplished this by recycling the sample that was used just last year in State Property's "Want Me Back", which I'm pretty sure he didn't even produce, but clearly heard and realized would be put to better use on a heartbreak jam than a street joint. Of course, there's also that unofficial remix that Jadakiss has been plastering the mixtapes with, but I think it works fine without a guest rapper.

Noreaga f/ Peedi Crakk - "Niggarican"

Nick Cannon f/ Ying Yang Twins and Fatman Scoop- "Get Crunk Shorty"

OK, Just Bleezy has done similiar beats for different songs before (which is why I appreciated that Joe Budden diss track for indirectly calling JB out for that Rah Digga track that sounds so much like "Fire"), but dude's really starting to lose my trust, doing two tracks with the exact same instrumental. "Niggarican"'s been making the rounds for a while now, but "Get Crunk Shorty" was on Cannon's album that was released last year, and is just now starting to get pushed as a single. I'm wondering if Nore/Peedi actually paid for th ebeat or just spit on it for mixtapes. But theirs is the stronger of the two, half-Puerto Rican pride complete with the Frankie Cutlass chant and Big Pun references. Cannon's isn't bad either, though, he flips some rhymes from "A Million & One Questions" and once again proves that he's a better MC than anyone wants to admit.

Joe Budden - "The Growth" aka 'Def Jam diss'

Supposedly the title track from Joe's 2nd album, but I'll be surprised if Def Jam presses up a bunch of CD's with this song on it, if they don't put him on the shelf entirely after this. It's not really one of those typical beef tracks with over the top animosity and ridiculous threats, he really sounds more confused and remorseful than angry, like he doesn't really know what went wrong or who exactly to blame. After that silly ass beef with Game, it's likely that he's just doing it for publicity, but it's still an intriguing listen.

As per that Kay Slay/LL track, I'm a sucker for introspective behind the scenes industry talk, and this one delivers big time with the details. He airs it all out, the underwhelming album sales after the huge single and the next-big-thing hype, the medical problems with his vocal cords, getting tossed off the 112 single. Meanwhile, Def Jam keeps backpedalling, coming up with ridiculous excuses to explain the disappointing sales. Granted, Joe's album was pretty boring, and the cause of it was largely songs that sound like this, but this time he actually has something interesting to talk about.

My favorite version is on The Passion And The Heist mixtape, where Sunny talks over the intro: "Joe Budden, I'm a fuck you up the next time we go to the bowling alley, stop talking that shit in the streets, like you made a fuckin' score of 100, you crazy, it's closer to like 79, 89, something like that, and that's not shit to brag about".

You are now listening to the growth (x2)/"Pump It Up" came out, was a hit all over the country/and so I figured all over they'd want me/yeah, the buzz was there, the feeling was timely/and Kev said that he would put the whole building behind me/yeah, the whole office daps me freely/and Mr. Cohen always seems so happy to see me/I'm treated like a new man, must've got a facelift/this is what I dreamed of, welcome to the matrix/BET rated me next, we comin' up Jersey/airtime, MTV buzzworthy/if that ain't make things final/the song played all throughout the World Series and the NBA finals/wrap up your album, Joey, it's goin' out now/only problem is my voice is goin' out now/doctor said I need a surgery to fix it/and it's somethin' goin' wrong, it could be permanently twisted/now that's something I can't afford/so steroid shots in my abs just so I can record/all that talkin' was ruinin' my cords/and on top of it all, now Def Jam wants your boy on tour/this is important, you can't back out/it's good exposure and 112's comin' back out/I'm on the 2nd single, about to shine/June 10th, yep, it's time/but wait, something must be wrong with the SoundScan/that's when it all started to go down, man/am I wrong or what here?/2 Fast soundtrack did great, and my song was on there/are things the way it seems/they even have a commercial pumpin' it up with my face on the screen/had to change my 2nd single cuz there's two 112-Budden's, but theirs turned into 112-Luda/Lil Jon called me for the "Get Low" remix/but Lyor was goin' through some TVT shit/then they went and kept Joe off the Roc The Mic Tour/somebody probably thought Joe would rock the mic more/left the country, did a single with J.Lo/but with my luck I knew Columbia would say no/radio hates "Fire", nah, they won't try it/but they love that Rah Digga song that sounds just like it/wanna keep me under, dog, I'm the underdog/and they don't want y'all to see up under the fog/so y'all, tell they man in the hood/gold album, one single, I'd say I'm doin' hella damn good/listen here, Def Jam, are you deaf, man?/politics aside, please don't interject, fam/listen to my shit, now listen to the rest, damn/that's without a yes ma'am/three hundred thou budget, I checked, fam/did that the last time and I still repped, damn/MH thank you, Pharrell thank you, Jim Jones thank you, Lil Mo thank you/sad part now is when I walk by/and I see Mr. Cohen, he can't even say hi/but I'm a new man, I feel like I got a facelift/this is what I dreamed of, time to tackle the matrix...

john doe ft. nature - if i should die -- i love this song. he has this voice that's all deep and sort of husky and supposed to remind you of lots of things, i guess. it's really strong and he can sing hooks in his strong, sweet voice. and it's about hustling and he's really serious and it's all dark and he quotes nas and yeah timbaland on the beat too, some supa dupa fly real hip hop thing with extra spooky/pensive/slow and still timbaland, though, and yeah nature really nice on the closeout verse, "i even passed out samples when the work was cheap/turned little kids into guinea pigs/turned big kids into skinny kids." (i'd love to make someone a tape with the next song being where i'm from with graph from the new lil flip [i feel silly being all dismissive about him and calling him the southern cam'ron but loving the boringest new yorkest song more than anything else on it]).

Yeah I mocked the title. the cover. downloaded it for a laugh, but shit if this isn't the best master p album i've ever heard.

"Ride 4 You" and "20s on cars 26s on trucks" are hot fire.

The entire record is catchy and the crunk-jocking is pretty transparent, but it works. the hooks are still pretty bad... but tolerable compared to par for no limit.

I must admit though, I wish P put out a more positive record, for Romeo's sake. I mean shit, how does he explain hooks like this to him:

It's a drought, but we got dope
We got dope, we got dope
It's a drought, but we got dope
Then it's gon cost you mo'

C'MON P YOU DON'T GOT DOPE! AND EVEN IF YOU DO ITS A POOR EXAMPLE TO SET FOR YOUR SON THAT YOU SHOULD INVEST YOUR LEGALLY EARNED MILLIONS INTO NARCOTICS.

From: ******* *******
Sent: Tuesday, May 18, 2004 9:49 AM
To: LIQU0RP0RN
Subject: Kevin Garnett is crazy


"It's Game 7, man. That's it. It's for all the marbles," Garnett said.
"Sitting in the house, I'm loadin' up the pump. I'm loadin' up the Uzi. I
got a couple M-16s, a couple 9s. I got a couple joints with some silencers
on them. I'm just loading clips, a couple grenades. I got a missile launcher
with a couple of missiles. I'm ready for war."

sounds like he's bringing a lot of guns to the game.

LL Cool J - "The Truth"

On the Drama Queen's latest retail joint, LL goes all "Last Real Nigga Alive" on us, and I'm a sucker for these kind of tracks where a rapper lets you behind the curtain and talks about the beefs and the industry and everything. He's still too flashy to really get too deep with it, and by the end he just starts rapping in Italian for some reason, but he drops some gems along the way. He's done plenty of faux-gangsta stuff before, but he's never done a real new-school NYC street joint with a soul beat before and it sounds really good, it's kind of a shame he's never done a whole album in this style and probably never will. His next album's supposed to be a party record with Timbaland.

8Ball & MJG - "Don't Make"

This is the song that "You Don't Want Drama" transitions to so beautifully at the end of the video. I really wish it was all one song, with 2 parts that both have that fuzzy synth sound. This one's not as catchy but has a cool "woo" chant that Diddy does weird hand motions to in the video. I like how 8Ball refers to himself as "fat boy" in both songs, I hope that's a running theme throughout the album and that at some point he does a rhyme about being the fat boy on Bad Boy. Apparently the album dropped already last week, which was surprising, I had no idea, these days I assume something's been delayed until the hype reaches a fever pitch.

R. Kelly - "You Saved Me"

I wanted to be with Kells on this one, I did, but I think using that bubble-pop snare on a song like this just blows any emotional investment I'm willing to put into it. The first time I heard him sing "the results came back and the doctor said I'm sorry you got cancerrrr", I couldn't help but bust out laughing, which probably makes me a terrible person, but it's ok because by the end of the verse, "doc says you can go home, cause all that cancer's gone"! But what do I know, my favorite inspirational R. ballad is "Gotham City".

chopper's back. first solo album dropping on bad boy south! he wants mannie fresh and jazze pha! based just on the da band album, dofat's pretty good at fake southern beats. (the ness/babs double thing sounds terrible.)

i haven't seen up to the final episode. i can only watch the year-old re-runs (the last episode i saw was the one where they don't get their checks and ness doubts the veracity of chopper's new platinum chain). but, the album!! i've had it for a while and it's actually really good and worth buying and has mostly good songs and even though everyone says they didn't sell anything they still outsold joe budden, cassidy and juelz santana combined (they all had shitty sales but still! three of them) (unless i added up the numbers wrong). these are the songs i like from it:

do you know ft. wyclef jean -- it's cool hearing the full versions of the songs you watched them working on. it has a terrible intro thing with screeching sounds and smoke machines and wyclef says, "yall hear the guitars?? wyclef is in the buildinggggggg!!!!!!!!!!! puffy came to get me. i have officially made the band. i'm a rooocckkkk starrrr" but it's got a sweet, cool beat that they sound great on and ness asks babs "so where you from?" and she goes, "where chicks rock air force 1s, belly shirts tied up and our hair stay done... so where you from?" and freddie says he's from where they don't rock air force 1s, they've got air force guns and ness says he's from philadelphia and has his deuce-deuce in his tubesocks and chopper says he's from where guerillas don't mess with cops, you catch go on the run and still hug the block. and a sweet sara chorus and dylan takes it from her halfway and has this beautiful rising thing about the sun rising and everyone else gets half a verse each about how they're going to prove themselves and all of them introducing themselves and explaining their styles over the outro.

go steady -- it's kind of the sara solo track, i guess. it's very smooth and modern and glittery and whatever and has lines like "wear your hat tilted to the side, i get a chill from those pretty brown eyes" and about how she wants a gentleman and she'll make it worth his wait. the ness verse at the very end kind of upset me at first. he's totally not the guy sara's looking for (he's a jerk and not romantic at all and is kind of immature), he's a real asshole for no reason and says that if he's not with her, he'll be fucking other women (but not her sister or her cousin, at least), even though he does sound kind of shy and subdued. (it would be the best song ever with freddie in ness's spot).

tonight -- everyone knows why this is good and it was a way better single than bad boy this and even when i stayed up to watch uncut and they'd play the version that showed more of the bubblebath girls with freddie and more sara inner thigh, my disappointment would be tempered by its whatever makes it so good. (i love freddie's greasy OUR PLANE TO BAHHHHHAAMMMMAS verse so much).

chopped up -- it's chopper's track and it's about driving around new orleans and wearing fancy clothes and having guns and the beat sounds kind of like the ugk song with big gipp and there are lots of sound effects to illustrate the chorus. (there was an eleventh hour play to get chopper to write for gov't names. it fell through but the door's still open if he wants to get at me).

stick up -- i'm not sure. freddie and ness pull up in a car and freddie's telling him how it's going to go down and they cock their guns and run up in a bank or something. freddie's verse starts with MOTHERFUCKER FREEZE, take a seat on the floor. they fill up bags and shoot anyone who moves, sirens, "nobody move, nobody move, one false move put that ass in the dirt, ooohhh, don't me act a fool, real niggas gon do what they have to do" chorus, police tell them to come out with hands up, hostages are taken. i don't want to spoil the ending.

what we gonna do -- the album is kind of split between scary songs about being from new orleans and shipping bricks or fun songs about girls and shit. and um this is just one of the second choices but: trackmasters! spanish guitar thing! bounce! and it's got the best babs action on the whole thing! (it seems like she's on it less than anyone else, even dylan, which seems weird since she was all serious about working and stuff. she has a surprisingly gentle voice that sounds good on everything, though).

Well, this week Making The Band 2's series finale aired, and I felt overcome with a surprising amount of sadness over the whole thing. I mean, they kept a pretty good lid on the fact that it was over, considering that the last season must've been done shooting weeks, if not months ago, and I had no idea they'd been disbanded until the ads for the last episode started showing a couple weeks ago. They must've had some serious clauses in their contracts to keep them from bitching to the press until the episode aired.

Da Band: Where Did It All Go Wrong?

...ok, that's a stupid question. When I first heard Diddy was gonna do a hip hop MTB, I knew it was a bad idea, because think about it: every rap group of more than 2 or 3 people that has ever amounted to anything was all from the same hood, knew each other way before the fame, and even then sometimes they can't keep it together. So pulling together 6 random people who all wanted to be solo stars and telling them to share the shine, no, that's not gonna happen.

I didn't really start watching until the 2nd season, so I have no idea how they were picked or if the competition was really as pathetic as it must've been, but man, what was Diddy smoking? He must've really wanted a token dancehall dude bad for all the strings he pulled to keep Dylan out of jail, and put up with his shit for as long as he did.

That said, I did find myself rooting for them, I really did. "Bad Boy This, Bad Boy That" was a fucking BLAZING song, I listed it as something like my #8 favorite single of 2003. This season was pretty depressing though, watching them lose their drive while working on the 2nd album. A couple episodes ago, there was a great scene where Diddy sat down in his office to listen to the new tracks, and he'd stop every song after 30 seconds and complain about the hook. He should've been more worried about the beats, though, it sounded like Tommy Dofat heard "Zone Out" from God's Son and decided that was his shit. Didn't he produce "Bad Boy This"? If so, much respect to him, but I think Diddy should've been more willing to hook Da Band up with hotter producers than whoever he's got over at Bad Boy plus fucking Wyclef.

Earlier this season, when Ness was really showing some initiative and being the one dude in the studio nonstop, my respect grew for him. Last season, I liked to make fun of him for being the most generic throwback-wearing punchline MC who's almost fat enough to be in the Lox, and the few times they showed him rapping, he was doing some stupid rhyme where he goes "HANG GLIDE WIT IT". But I give him credit for being the one who got his grind on, he's the only member of Da Band that I've actually been seeing pop up on mixtapes doing freestyles with established MC's, even before the album dropped. So I'm glad that he was one of the 2 members that Diddy decided to keep on Bad Boy. He may end up being another one album wonder like G. Dep or Black Rob, but he's got drive, and if this series has shown anything, that's what really counts.

Also, in a recent episode, there was a scene where Ness went home to Philly to see his newborn son, and the music playing in the background is the "Song Cry" beat, and it's a really sweet, touching moment. And then, you hear Jay go "most incredible, baby!", like he's talking about Ness's premature infant. The editors who work at MTV are fucking insane.

Ness was kind of a no-brainer for Diddy to keep, but I was surprised that the other one he kept was Babs. I mean, what little I've heard of her rapping has sounded good, but it's hard enough for labels to break female MC's with sex appeal, a hood rat like her doesn't stand a chance. Or maybe that's what's different about her that will make her stand out, I don't know. But by this season, she had definitely become the biggest comic relief of the group, getting her hair done in the kitchen for some reason (!), and every time there was a meeting, she was all, "but I gotta get my nails done". And don't even get me started on Fred and Choppa.

Some of the best moments of the finale:

* Diddy walking around the Bad Boy offices in the fur coat from the "Rubber Band Man" video

* Diddy showing up at the party with 2 bottles of champagne, telling Da Band "no holes in my walls, you break it you pay"

* Diddy asking everyone about Dylan, asks Choppa when was the last time he heard from Dylan, and Choppa replies: "Neveruary"

Goodbye, Da Band. Thanks for the good times. See you neveruary.

nas - life is like a dice game -- 1. that scratchy tape recorder intro. "this is nas! queens's finest, right behind us! no doubt, all the time! one love, one life, one king, and that's the king of queens, baby. shoutout to the bridge.... one love!" 2. one of my favorite things about nas is, i think, he sounds like he's-- i'm not sure how to say this. he never sounds effortless, he never sounds like he's not rapping. he sounds like he's in the studio and he's reading his raps. (i have the nas freestyles mixtape by i forget who and it's good but nas is barely on it, he comes in and spits some verse from a mid-album track on it was written and then it's az or mega or some random guy like akinyele filling up the next two minutes) but the effortless thing is the most important. this sounds all effortless (it's weird that the intro is kind of halting and awkward. after he says "shoutout to the bridge" he doesn't know what to say and blurts out "one love" and it's over) and a bunch of other things that nas never is. 3. "you know my name, big nas in the house, yall. on the freestyle tip and when i finish this shit it's sure to be a hit."

nas ft. billy joel - ny state of mind (lights out remix) -- it's kind of corny but i like every single bit of it, the "some folks like to get away, take a holiday from the neighborhood, hop a flight to miami beach or to hollywood but i'm taking a greyhound on the something river line, i'm in a new york state of mind," scratching in the billy joel saying new york again sample, and the cheap sounding drums over the little snip of the billy joel song, and the verse (is from ny state of mind 2 on i am... and is) on some nas doing boring prototypical nas shit, "broken glass in the hallway, bloodstained floors."

nas ft. biggie and pac - purple 2004 -- remember that strolling cool original beat and nas just all like off the top of his head, "the whole city is mine, pretty as dawn / i don't like the way p diddy did shyne with different lawyers / why it's mentioned in my rhymes-- fuck it / it's just the intro, hate it or love it / like it, bump it or dump it / writing across the stomach spells god's son / life is like a jungle something something / habitat of tarzan" and he gets all serious about niggas dying and still haunting they blocks and there's always new cats to take they spots but it's still like you can picture him just waking up and figuring it out in his bright white kitchen, sitting at the table with his notebook and looking out the window. but this is purple 2004, new beat, some nothing/nowhere music class handsound drums that strip the whole thing of all the airiness and replace it with very unpleasant awkward/claustrophobic feeling, a big verse that comes in with coughing and mumbling and instructions on robbing people and reminiscing about his swinger days when he drove an old caddy and junor mafia representing bucktown / mack 11 cocked back niggas better duck down, and a pac verse about not being able to close his eyes and keeping his hand on his gun.

nas ft. freddie foxx - turn off the mics -- i have no idea who freddie foxx is except that his nickname is bumpy knuckles and he's some kind of ultra real dude who can't rap, so nas has some stillmatic mob boss thing for him about chilling in st. barts and murdering snitches and some bizarre out of nowhere shit about having sluts on leashes and watching snuff films and reading the catcher in the rye while listening to bob marley.

nas ft. pitbull - imagine -- man so many of these songs are lame as hell but this is the worst one. it doesn't get worse than this with nas. on an untouched playback of imagine and nas dropping lines like, "imagine we could all get along, won't be long til that day comes / mothers stop cookin, take off your aprons / fathers stop looking at every sports station / take a second and think of every poor nation" and pitbull coming in to steal the whole thing and humiliating him (my first album had no famous guest appearances / the outcome, i'm crowned the best lyricist), "america, the land of the free. america, the land of opportunity. / america, what's the point of having the statue of liberty if you turning immigrants back at sea" and his mouth filling with saliva and little hehes at the ends of his lines.

nas - thief's theme -- it's sort of okay in the recorded off the radio mp3 with the "funkmaster flex says: THIS IS SOMETHING YOU NEED TO HEAR" shit on it and a layer of recording noise and flex and nas feigning astonishment and talking shit over the end of it, "this is real real like street corner play it over fifty times while you in front of the crib on a cassette--" "on a cassette ahahhaha!" "you need a cassette for this one! it's hot 97 funk flex the album street's disciple july 6th" "central park free concert double album" "just get them where you need to get them" "yes sir." and everyone hopes he's got a dozen more of these.

Hotel Opera: dude...J-Kwon = TrackBoyz; Chingy = Trak Starz
Hotel Opera: i know it's confusing as hell but get it right!
plumdrank: haha oops
plumdrank: theyre all from motherfucking st louis!!!
Hotel Opera: yeah
Hotel Opera: it's ridiculous
plumdrank: ok so the trakboyz did air force ones
Hotel Opera: yeah
plumdrank: and trakstarz did chingy
Hotel Opera: yeah
plumdrank: THEYRE ALL FROM ST LOUIS
Hotel Opera: YEAH
plumdrank: so the first two famous beatmaking groups from st louis
plumdrank: TRAKBOYZ
plumdrank: TRAKSTARZ
Hotel Opera: i think the Boyz have a C in their Track
plumdrank: they can all suck my fat cock

(the only picture of hot boy ronald on the whole internet)

10th ward buck - second line -- the intro "wassup wassup 10th ward buck, the motherfuckin party's over! you ain't gotta go home but you gotta get the fuck up outta here" going into the chant "get ya hat! get ya coat! now get the fuck on out the do! get ya hat! get ya coat! now get the fuck on out the do!" beyond the plain bounce beat playing on some scratched up tinny snares, there's almost nothing holding the beat together, plinky little sounds playing along and buck tears it up and his boys drown the whole thing out when they get to shouting back.

bg ft. ziggly wiggly - where you been -- even though it's all creepy, atmospheric strings and thunder on the beat and bg sounds exhausted, it's really hopeful and bg going back to the hood and helping all the dopefiend niggas with monkeys on they backs and bailing out all the niggas with bonds, promising to one-up baby's one maybach with ten lacs and ziggly wiggly interviews him on the hook "yo, geezy, where you been, geezy where you been? i heard juvie went back, now is you going back?"

hot boy ronald - walk like ronald -- hot boy ronald! hot boy ronald! hot boy ronald! hot boy ronald! now if ya got ya thongs on, clap clap ya hands! if ya keep ya coochie clean, clap clap ya hands! you's an independent woman, clap clap ya hands! if you got it goin on, clap clap ya hands! ...check this out, we gon get this started like this here: left leg first, then right leg. left leg one time! (!!) right leg one time! (!!) to the front two times! (!!)(!!) to the back two times! (!!)(!!) now walk like ronald, girl!

p-town moe - walk like p-town moe -- it's totally better than walk like ronald, the same beat and still about walking like a dude but with cooler sounds and moe going hard through the whole track instead of constantly stopping to give new instruction.

7th ward soulja ft. bg and turk - uptown/downtown -- this is the track in the tag-on to the 7th ward/choppa collabo that's always on uncut, screen goes black after club parking lot/ducatti burnouts/ferris wheeled escalade/bouncing ass/choppa ripping off the macarena chorus madness and then comes up on 7th ward, bg and turk in the middle of a crowd of their boys, each of them stepping forward to say their neighborhood unity shit, "we all got hot blocks and booming dope spots, we all got crooked cops, got the hood on lock."

choppa - hot piece -- i got the no limit choppa album a couple of months ago and it was totally terrible and i only listened to it once and it was all terrible, sort of stiff, generic no limit beats that made it easy for all the terrible no limit guest rappers to ride but gave choppa trouble and he was basically confined to the hooks and the whole thing was a disappointment except for the master p blessed version of choppa style that i liked before i bought it. !! so, whatever, this song-- it's hot and fast enough for choppa to spit on and he doesn't even have to do the hook and sounds plain southern enough for it to make him famous.

chev off da ave ft. vocah - roll call -- it sounds fucking crazy, like the song that the new fake oldschool young gunz song is supposed to sound like but stripped down to just those drums and with real, fast rappers on it (but all crazy and with four word names and from new orleans!), trading off the end of lines and in the middle of words, and sampling big saying "and another one" at the start of fuck you tonight--

soulja slim and bg - mind games -- from the amazing slim/geezy album that gets a new title every month and will never drop. slim telling women how he wants his dick sucked and bg explaining how he treats hoes and a weirdo calliope beat and the whole thing breaking down into slim's girl explaining how shit really goes down until slim interrupts and calls geezy to back him up.

Last night, I was fortunate enough to catch the DJ KAY SLAY show on hot 97. Dylan of Da Band was the guest. It was incredible.

Kay Slay asked him how things were going with the ladies, to which Dylan responded "What's going on now is that we just incorporated our new company NEW G.U.N. entertainment."

Now I'm sure you're wondering "Why did Dylan name his company 'NEW G.U.N.' Entertainment?".. well kids, it stands for NEW GUERILLA UNITED NATIONS.

He plans on "hugging the streets" with mixtapes, and hopes to "blow up his artists" which prompted DJ KAY SLAY to laugh at him, but told him he wasn't mad at him. But he got seriously pissed when Dylan told him he is working with DJ Sickamore, with whom Kay Slay has beef with. (well, he is the drama queen, i'm sure he has beef with 90% of new york)

Then Dylan debuted a new song, apparently if Puff calls him a liar again on national television, Dylan will shoot him.

froze ony and iceberg ft. bun b - yo cadillac -- squeaky houston beat and bun b running through with twenty three inch chrome, slabs with ragtops, peanut butter interiors, candy paint, woodgrain, fifth in the back and bang in the trunk and the two other dudes wrecking it on the hook and then falling asleep in the middle of their verses.

g-unit ft. dtp - keepin it hood -- i think there's a really obvious flip of some really obvious beat hidden somewhere in this but i can't tell what it is. tity (why does boring i-20 get to drop before tity?? and even lil fate! and even shawnna!) all deliberate, sloppy, smooth and punchlines, "and the truck got a pedicure cause the feet got painted." young buck the tennessee tiger with a i-came-up-but-i'm-still-grimy verse. lloyd banks coming in like kay slay in the middle of a papoose freestyle, totally out of place and with his voice mixed three times louder.

young buck ft. david banner and lil flip - welcome to the south -- "we pop pills, shoot and kill! you know what we bout / and on behalf of g-unit, welcome to the south." it's like the scary flipside of 'my city,' where everything was pig feet and grape kool-aid. banner and flip (the occasional "i'm not all about drank and yellowbones i shoot guns too" verse was okay when they really were occasional, very unpleasant now) talk about guns and shit and red spyda comes with something slow and sinister.

In honor of Murder Ma$e's return to the game, and DK's brilliant suggestion that he should make his comeback on a remix of "Jesus Walks", I present to you:

THE KANYE WEST LYRICAL SHRINE TO MA$E

"they told me toughen up, put some bass in your voice, they told me lighten up, put some Ma$e in your voice" - "Get By" remix

"Kanye, the best dressed nigga next to fags, and I'm the best version of Ma$e next to Fab" - Carl Thomas's "The Way That You Do"

"says she like Ma$e but she love Face" - "Out The Game"

"My favorite rapper is Makaveli, Nas and Jay-Z, Eminem, Ma$e, Biggie Smalls and me" - "Bonnie & Clyde" freestyle

"yo, teamsters, do I look scared, teamsters, do I look scared? ...um, that's a quote, Ma$e my favorite rapper, I'm sorry" - quoting Ma$e's "Fuck Me, No Fuck You" on the intro to the Black Album instrumentals mixtape

"if you could feel how my face felt, you would know how Ma$e felt, thank God I ain't too cool for the safebelt" - "Through The Wire"

"I musta had a blessing from Pastor Mason, cuz that trip to L.A. coulda been my last vacation" - I'm Good mixtape intro/"Through The Wire" remix

also, DK pointed out that in the 'chaining day' part of the "Through The Wire" video, Kanye says "I'm the newest member of the Roc-A-Fella team, and I'ma make Dame and Hov mad more cream", which is a flip on a Ma$e lyric, from "Take What's Yours": "I'm the newest member of the Bad Boy team and I'ma bring this nigga Puff mad more cream".

and in Rolling Stone last month, Kanye listed his top 5 favorite MC's as:

5. Biggie
4. Nas
3. Jay-Z
2. Eminem
1. Ma$e

"yo, let me speak to diddy."
"who is this?"
"'who is this?' you don't know this voice?"

that hot97 call-in. the whole thing is so beautiful. mase telling diddy to stop by jacob's, make sure he looks clean when he walks back in. hitting madison square garden and summer jam in ten weeks! the whole thing makes me smile really hard. after all that stuff about signing with nelly's label and stuff, and he's really back now, his comeback record's on the radio, he sounds happy and he's in l.a., he's going to wear diamonds but not get drunk.

This is it!!!!!